Trillium

by Louise Glück

When I woke up I was in a forest. The dark
seemed natural, the sky through the pine trees
thick with many lights.
I knew nothing; I could do nothing but see.

Lately I've been thinking about savasana as a ritual for transport. I've been struggling in my yoga practice for a while; meaning I've been avoiding it and other things that might make me feel. My best friend passed away in October, and it's been a strange time; half the time I'm not sure what I'm doing or feeling, or when I'm going to be feeling or numb, or why I'm doing what I'm doing. Sometimes even the smallest decisions feel laborious.

But I recently started to practice yoga again, and the other day after a class led by my incredible and wise teacher, I woke up from savasana with Louise Glück's Trillium in my head.

"When I woke up I was in a forest..."

When I woke up, after moving, flowing, shaking off some of the dust, and then resting in savasana, I had been transported. I woke up in a different place. I didn't necessarily know anything more, but I could see some light through the trees. I could feel a shift (even if a temporary one). And it reminded me how close we always are to the possibility of seeing things in a fresh way. Grace is there. But it's easily obscured by the busy-ness, the unconscious patterns, the avoidance. When I woke up, I was reminded that savasana is often translated as "corpse pose," and that with each little letting go we do in life, we practice for death.

Birth and death are close to each other. If you have time to read the whole poem, you'll see it alludes to being dead (a body buried in the earth) and to being born (a seed buried in the ground), both from the same perspective. I can't help thinking about Yoga's roots in India where I've heard it said that every sect of Hinduism believes in the cycles of reincarnation:

birth, death, birth, death, birth, death...

And that feels like a poem too.

The yoga practice is unique in that if offers us a chance to observe our own thoughts & how they affect our behaviors. It teaches us to observe the busy-ness of the mind, observe how it affects us, but also know it isn't who we are. It helps us to connect to a deeper part of ourselves. In a world that can feel overwhelming, and like it's changing too quickly for us to keep up with, this is essential. Although we can't control the world, we can develop habits that will buffer and support us rather than deplete and overwhelm us, but we have to start with observing where we're at.

What are you awake to? What makes you feel alive? What gives you joy? I hope you can carve out some space for it today. Or maybe at the end of the day today, you can set yourself up in a comfortable savasana for just five minutes. Afterwards, you just might be transported to a new way of seeing things...if only for a little while. :)